THE WHY, HOW, WHAT AND IF SO WHERE?? Part-1

Theses questions asked by this kid left me pondering and here goes the story of what left me at a standstill confused, frustrated and at a complete loss of words this is where it all began!!

In particular these questions have been bothering me a lot as to why it is so hard to get rid of bad habits and just give it all up, just why can’t I start striving towards a better future I have abundant opportunities around me. Yes it is true what I have done cannot be undone the time wasted and lost opportunities will never come back. That’s dead and gone. But at-least I should change its only getting worse day in and day out all I’m doing is losing out on what I have. Yes wrong decisions, wrong choices inevitable moments have been there but I’m supposed to be drawing myself towards the positives and let the negatives die forever and remain a non-existent entity. People have walked in and out of my life I have picked up the good and bad right now cause of the immense pressure that has built up the bad is dominating and that’s not a good sign. I have reached a state of disorderliness this is not how I used to be nor is it what I ever intended to make out of my life. The stories that I hear, the visuals that I see the things I am made to perceive and believe I just don’t like it I have lost the real me, the truth is hidden, a fake mask is what I wear and that’s precisely how I am asked to portray myself.

I don’t know how far the rituals, customs and superstitious believes hold that even if you sin forgiveness can be attained, you can be pardoned. I ask myself is it so??  Can I take a holy dip or chant or hard penance will I be forgiven ,more than the people around is my conscience ready to give up and begin anew from the left overs. Can the harm caused be reduced if so HOW?? WHAT is the cure? Is there something that can lead to permanent cure or is it just a mistaken belief system.. What is it? Can scars be healed, physically maybe but what about the mental turmoil the physiological imbalance the fickle mind is it possible for it to make a decision and stick to it or is this going to be just another lie I tell myself??

-SANYAN

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Dear Sanyan, you sound young or ready to on a new journey. The journey are the lessons learned, we are here to learn from bad and good. I have had awful things and I would think I was being punished, it was actually a gift, I learned humility, kindness, understanding, empathy for all humanity and all that lives.

    It not fun, and That sin thing, that we are going hell or haydess, as if a God man existed that was sole purpose to catch us to send to hell. That how in my Country Cuba they thought the children, with fear.

    We are not children, and from your questions I can you kind. So you want please everyone, you will be unhappy and alone. Open a new path meditate or pray let be thy will, now pick where you want to start, to be yourself, to remove the mask, that’s a big one.

    If your family is anything like mine built on tradition from abuelas and abuelos and theres., its difficult. I was 5 when I realize I did these people I live most of did not like each other and we love very latinish.

    We yell, I do not, so I did what I wanted age 7 I was a full blown hippie less the smoking. I was a handful.

    But back to you are uncomfortable with something personal that is been explained as a wrong deed, to whom. A persons heart must be filled with love and kindess, I do by charity. I feed homeless, help online etc.

    That also is important you must find satisfaction in what you do and time to help othets, old folks home, food bank, there no bigger reward then to be graced by someone you have really helped.

    Now, humility is a must, and slowly get into the cold water, one foot at a time take ours because that water will not be friendly. Then jump!!!! And darn you will be who you are and that’s that, now save cash sometimes it shocks the manipulators and over react. You may need a break, but you have cleared your and are ready for your new journey.

    Namaste you will be fine

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thoughts68 says:

      leearango123 thank you 🙂 for taking time off reading my article and expressing your view. Appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely and those who don’t can also love you.
        Namaste

        Like

  2. Dear Sanyan, you sound young or ready to on a new journey. The journey’s are a the lessons learned, we are here to learn from bad and good. I have had awful things and I would think I was being punished, it was actually a gift, I learned humility, kindness, understanding, empathy for all humanity and all that lives.

    It not fun, and That sin thing, that we are going hell or haydess, as if a God man existed that was sole purpose to catch us to send to hell. That how in my Country Cuba they thought the children, with fear.

    We are not children, and from your questions I can you kind. So you want please everyone, you will be unhappy and alone. Open a new path meditate or pray let be thy will, now pick where you want to start, to be yourself, to remove the mask, that’s a big one.

    If your family is anything like mine built on tradition from abuelas and abuelos and theres., its difficult. I was 5 when I realize I did these people I live most of did not like each other and we love very latinish.

    We yell, I do not, so I did what I wanted age 7 I was a full blown hippie less the smoking. I was a handful.

    But back to you are uncomfortable with something personal that is been explained as a wrong deed, to whom. A persons heart must be filled with love and kindess, I do by charity. I feed homeless, help online etc.

    That also is important you must find satisfaction in what you do and time to help othets, old folks home, food bank, there no bigger reward then to be graced by someone you have really helped.

    Now, humility is a must, and slowly get into the cold water, one foot at a time take ours because that water will not be friendly. Then jump!!!! And darn you will be who you are and that’s that, now save cash sometimes it shocks the manipulators and over react. You may need a break, but you have cleared your and are ready for your new journey.

    Namaste you will be fine

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thoughts68 says:

      As I said it is easier said than done!! It is not very smooth to just forget the past make a decision and move on. So many dreams, desires gets shattered along the way and its hard to move on!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are right but when we do easy we take the road of least Resistance and it full.

        Liked by 1 person

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